Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Rosario Dawson


Tonight on Jay's chatter, actress Rosario Dawson talks about changing tires in heels and Marc Anthony talks about his sons $6,000 "accident" in the pool.
JAY LENO’S MONOLOGUE HIGHLIGHTS TUESDAY JUNE 21, 2011
THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED THAT TOMORROW NIGHT PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL LAYOUT HIS PLAN FOR BRINGING OUR TROOPS HOME FROM AFGHANISTAN.  TEN YEARS AGO WHEN WE WENT THERE AFGHANISTAN HAD A BACKWARDS CORRUPT GOVERNMENT, NOW THEY HAVE A DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED BACKWARDS CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.  THAT’S PROGRESS.
SIXTEEN OF NEWT GINGRICH’S TOP STAFF QUIT LAST WEEK.  TODAY TWO OF HIS TOP FUNDRAISERS QUIT.  HOW BAD IS THAT? HE'S NOT EVEN PRESIDENT AND HE'S ALREADY RAISING THE UNEMPLOYMENT RATE. WHAT’S IT GOING TO BE LIKE WHEN HE’S ELECTED?
THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS REPORTING THAT A CHINESE BILLIONAIRE INVESTOR NAMED WANG GONGQUAN ANNOUNCED TO THE WORLD THAT HE IS LEAVING HIS WIFE TO ELOPE WITH HIS MISTRESS, AND HE DID IT ON A CHINESE BLOGGING SITE LIKE TWITTER.  MEN ARE THE SAME ALL OVER THE WORLD, AREN’T THEY?  WE HAVE WEINER, THEY HAVE WANG.  IT’S THE SAME THING.  NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO.
MAN, GREECE IS HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE, THE COUNTRY OF GREECE.  THEY ARE IN SUCH BAD FINANCIAL SHAPE THAT THEY ARE BEING FORCED TO SELL OFF THEIR ASSETS, INCLUDING THE AIRPORTS AND THE HIGHWAYS.  THAT WOULD BE KIND OF COOL, DON’T YOU THINK?  BUYING YOUR OWN HIGHWAY…PUT UP ANY SIGN YOU WANT: "NO SPEEDING EXCEPT FOR BOB.”
APPLE HAS NOW FILED A PATENT FOR NEW TECHNOLOGY THAT WOULD BLOCK AN IPHONE FROM RECORDING LIVE EVENTS LIKE CONCERTS. TECHNOLOGY THAT CAN DISABLE AN IPHONE.  I HAVE THAT, IT’S CALLED AT&T.  I USE IT EVERYDAY.  HELLO, HELLO.
THIS IS KIND OF CREEPY; A CHINESE COMPANY IS NOW SELLING A SEX ROBOT THAT COST $4,800.  IT’S SEX ROBOT FOR GUYS.  THAT'S KIND OF PATHETIC, ISN’T IT?  AFTER SEX YOU'VE GOT THIS COLD THING LAYING THERE WITH NO EMOTION…AND THE ROBOT IS NOT MUCH BETTER.

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